Hey, Mr. Postman

Want to give you a brief update of what's happening in my life. The past months were very hard. I had no jobs for my webdesign business. And for months no money. So I was not able to pay my bills and my rent. So it was time for a change.

I realized that I was doing a lot of things voluntary. It were a lot of things I really liked to do: Being in the leadership team of my church, the prayer leader, I preached a lot and did many other things. It was on my heart to do these things. It was a part of my ministry for me. So I thought the Lord would provide my life if I would do the things for him without expecting payment for it. Perhaps that is wrong and it would be right to get payment for some things (as pastors do). But for the moment there was no way. On the other hand there were not enough things I got money for. Especially the jobs for my business.

So I was looking for a side job. I was expecting to find an office job to do in the morning to have time for my webdesign in the afternoon. I was looking for a long time. I had some interviews, really good talks. But that brought me no jobs. So finally I signed a job as a postman. I never wanted to do a job like this. I did not like to be all the time in the fresh air with wind and weather.

But it was the only chance. Now I see a lot of good things coming with it:
I always wanted to do more for my fitness. Be regularly in the fresh air for a walk and to get exercise. Now I have it every day on an amount I would never have reached!
And the best thing is: I can pray every day for a whole area of my city. A very special way of city prayer!

After some weeks in this job it is still very hard for me. It is taking me everything. When I come home in the afternoon I am so done that I am able to do almost nothing else. Many times I have to take a few hours sleep. I am lucky to have no other design jobs. It would be to much for me.

It makes fun to deliver those mails - especially in the sun :). The colleagues are very cool, all young people. I like to be together with them. I think it is good to be there for a while (at least to have some result on my fitness). But it is very unflexible. You can finish your day when all the mail is delivered. There is almost no chance to go home a little earlier than usual as it was possible in my old job in this internet agency. Most of the weeks you have to work on Saturdays. So it is not as easy as before to just be away on a weekend. The flexibility is gone to just go on an outreach for the Lord.

As I realized the need for change and to be able to conecentrate on my business I stopped a lot of things I did voluntary. I quit being in the leadership team, layed down being the prayer leader, stopped preaching and a lot of other things. That is very hard for me. There was an outreach of our local healing rooms on the Esoterikmesse here in Munich. I was looking for a door to get there for years. Now it was open and I had to say NO to it.

This a time of change for me. A reboot of my life to find out what the Lord really has in store for me. I want to hear new from Jesus to get a new focus for my life. It feels like a step back for me, feels like loosing, giving up most of the things that are on my heart... but I think that I am very right. It is the place the Lord wants to have me now. Feels like crying, I am very uncomfortable with this situation. But it is better to be in the will of the Lord than anything else.

I feel very close to Jesus, a lot is shifting, all the air is filled with change, change, change. A time of healing - hard to imagine for me... Looking forward to the future.